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Cyber Bullies

Beginning at a very young age, we have all been advised on how to protect ourselves from bullies. Essentially, a bully is someone who makes you feel afraid, threatened, or intimidated. Bullies can hurt people verbally or physically and, unfortunately, leave permanent scars on a child of any age. Protecting our children against anyone who would want to harm them is essential to their safety and well being.

In today's computerized world, a new type of bully has emerged to wreak havoc. Cyber bullies are very similar to the bullies of old but they are far more technically advanced. Your home has always been considered a safe haven when dealing with life's problems but now cyber bullies can invade this space. Cyber bullying occurs when an individual uses the Internet, cell phones, or other electronic devices to target, torment, threaten, embarrass, humiliate, or hurt another individual.

What do cyber bullies do? A cyber bully will make threats, share gossip, spread lies, start terrible rumors and, in some cases, send embarrassing or suggestive photos of someone to others or post it on-line. All of this can be done while the cyber bully's identity remains unknown. Where does this happen? If a child is being targeted by a cyber bully, it usually occurs while on the Internet, such as in a chat room, or while using a cell phone. Cyber bullies purposely disclose personal information, such as real name, home address, telephone number, or school name of the victim at various websites, forums, or chat rooms. Doing this may further put their victim at risk of encountering a child predator.

In some recent cases, the victims of cyber bullies cannot take the threats, harassment, jokes, and humiliation any longer and the incident may end tragically. No child should have to endure this type of cruel and hurtful behavior. Taking steps to help reduce the chances of your child becoming the victim of a cyber bully are imperative.

For More Information Regarding Cyber Bullies:
Is Your Child At Risk?

By the time a child reaches his or her teenage years, for some, it has been a long and arduous journey, with some uncertainty and clumsiness thrown in for good measure. Any child, a boy or girl, can be the victim of a cyber bully. As your child grows into adulthood, there are many experiences he or she will face. At some point, your child may have encountered a cyber bully. Some children have talents, either in the classroom, on the football field, or on the debate team; but for some children, it is a struggle just to belong and feel accepted. Recognizing the signs of your child's behavior is imperative to stopping the vicious acts of a cyber bully. Cyber bullies are very common in schools today and should be taken seriously.

Warning Signs

Cyber bullies have a talent for targeting a child who is different or just does not fit in. These children can be easily threatened, embarrassed, or humiliated. Even popular and confident children are targeted by cyber bullies because of jealousy. There are no specific reasons why a child may be victimized by a cyber bully. The signs should be caught as early as possible to prevent any mishap.

Has Your Child...
  • ...withdrawn from favorite activities?
  • ...withdrawn from friends and family members?
  • ...experienced a loss of appetite?
  • ...shown a recent dislike or fear of going to school?
  • ...has a drastic change in grades?
  • ...come home with missing or damaged personal belongings?
  • ...experienced a change in attitude and seems saddened or depressed?

On the other hand, if your child shows aggressive or dominant behavior, cannot empathize with others, or does not cope well with his or her problems, your child may be at risk of being a bully.

Communication

As parents or caregivers, it is important to keep the lines of communication open with your child. In most cases, the child may be too embarrassed to talk to anyone about being bullied and may have the feeling of isolation. Encouraging your child to talk to you about what is occurring in their everyday lives will enhance your child’s trust and illustrate that you care. Parents must listen to the child's concerns and take cyber bullying seriously.

If your child tells you he or she is being cyber bullied, get the whole story. Has your child attempted to confront the cyber bully and remedy the situation? Have school officials been involved yet? Does your child's school have a process of mediation? Has your child been physically harmed?

Avoidance Tips For Parents And Caregivers
Parents must...
  • ...become the monitors of their child's cyber world.
  • ...talk with your child about what he or she does and who they communicate with while online.
  • ...emphasize to your child not to post personal information while online, such as, full name, home address, telephone number, or the name of the school they attend.
  • ...keep the home computer in a central location.
  • ...limit the time your child spends online.
  • ...encourage your child to practice good behavior while online or in a chat room.
  • ...discourage your child from illegal downloads, forwarding threatening e-mail messages, or being a party to any cyber bullying tactics.
  • ...advise your child to "walk away" or exit the website if he or she has been "flamed" (flaming is a provoking message), also advise the site moderator of this.
Harmful Effects

Unfortunately, there may also be an emotional toll on a child who is the victim of a cyber bully. The victims of cyber bullies may develop emotional scars that they will carry through to adulthood. The victim may experience low self esteem, depression, fear, anger, and an increased suicidal tendency. The victim may also take part in irresponsible acts such as turning to drugs or alcohol or getting into trouble with the law.

In some cases, the child being victimized may try to take his anger and frustrations out on another child and may become a cyber bully themselves! The most damaging effect is when the victim of a cyber bully begins to avoid his friends and favorite activities. By doing this the victim is giving the cyber bully exactly what he wants! Keep your child involved in his or her regular activities and show your support.

Harmful effects can also manifest with a cyber bully. The cyber bully may express this aggressive behavior and carry out physical attacks on partners in future relationships unless he or she receives help. A cyber bully will feel above the law if gone undetected and this trend could very easily continue as run-ins with law enforcement.

Laws And Regulations

Some cyber bully incidents may be a one-time incident of name calling and teasing or the incident could reach the intensity of a constant barrage of cruel behavior. Currently, individual schools are updating school policies to include rules prohibiting cyber bullying. States are also introducing legislation geared toward punishing cyber bullies. Both houses of the Missouri State Legislature voted unanimously on May 15, 2008, to criminalize usage of the Internet to harass someone. The existing state statue was expanded to prohibit abusive "communication by any means..." and is now known as Megan's Law.

If you have any question concerning most Internet Safety topics, please check your state Attorney General's website.